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Well, that’s what most people reading the blog care about. Of course, that could be because I’ve only been writing about Mayuki recently, and not posting very much even about that. This is because I’ve been rather busy recently, and not managed to find time to do my blog. Sorry about that.
Still busy today, so this is just a quick note to confirm that I’m still here.
Yesterday was a family day, and more so than most: Yuriko’s parents came up from Nagoya to get their grandchild fix. They arrived around midday, while we were iChatting with California, so my Dad got to say hello to them, which was nice.
In the afternoon, we went to the local shrine’s summer festival. It was the third time I’d been, and the second time for Yuriko, but Mayuki’s first time. (And Yuriko’s parents’ first time.) Mayuki was a really, really good girl. Not only did she not cry, she also watched most of the sacred dance, and didn’t shout or squeal too much.
I also got interviewed again. Last year some people were videoing it as part of a record of cultural practices (the dance is registered by Kawasaki city), so they wanted to interview the only foreigner present. This time, someone from Yomiuri Shinbun was there, and she wanted to ask me what I thought of the festival as a foreigner. This is a little difficult to answer. Yes, I’m a foreigner, but it’s the fourth time I’ve been, I know the people at the shrine quite well, and I’ve studied Shinto quite extensively; I’m not seeing it from a standard foreigner perspective. I did my best to answer the question as put, however. After all, she wasn’t really interviewing me, she was researching the event.
In the afternoon we took Yuriko’s parents to Shinrin Kouen, one of the local parks, because they hadn’t been there before, and then they took us out for eel. There is a tradition that you should eat eel on this day of the year. Apparently, this tradition was started by an eel shop about twenty years ago, but the Japanese are remarkably uncynical about excuses to eat particular foods. And eel is very tasty, so I’m not going to object either. The restaurant we went to was very nice indeed, but they don’t advertise much. Yuriko and her parents suspect that this is because, if they did, lots of people would come, and that would inconvenience the regular customers. I think that’s a good attitude to have, if you are already making enough money; human relationships do matter at least as much as profits.
Mayuki was a really good girl in the restaurant as well, and the other customers, and the staff, said that she was really cute. If we’re not careful, we’ll start believing people when they say that sort of thing to us.
Today is Ocean Day, so Yuriko doesn’t have a kimono class. Her parents stayed overnight in Kawasaki, so they’re here again now, and I’m getting my computer to the point where I can start it backing up and thus go and spend time with them. Of course, they can play with Mayuki, so they aren’t that bothered about what I get up to.
Added a new entry to my Japan diary.
It’s been so long since I wrote a blog post that the software asked me for my password. Sorry about that.
Anyway, Mayuki had her 9/10 month checkup yesterday, and she’s fine. (I couldn’t go, because I had to work, so I have to rely on what Yuriko told me.) Her weight is still under eight kilograms, but the doctor said that’s no problem; we should think of it as respect for her parents. I certainly appreciate it.
The night before, we went through the questions in the Mother-Child Record Book, to check various bits of development.
“Can she crawl?” Yes!
“Can she hold onto things and stand up?” Yes!
“Can she pick up small things between finger and thumb?”
Hmm… We try to keep small things out of reach to reduce choking risk. Time to check. We got a small thing and put it in front of her, attempting to convince her that it was really interesting, and she wanted to pick it up. She looked at us like we were mad for a little while, and then reached out and smoothly picked it up with her finger and thumb. So she passed the first exam of her life with flying colours.
Mayuki is such a good baby that we had trouble thinking of things to ask the doctor, when Yuriko was trying to prepare questions.
“What about the fact that she cries at bedtime?”
“All babies do that, Yuriko.”
“Hmm, yes. Well, she’s stopped trying to crawl away when I change her nappy. Maybe I should ask about that?”
“You’re really desperate now. Mayuki’s just being cooperative.”
“OK, what about the trip to the UK?”
“I suppose that’s fine. I can’t see any problem, though.”
And, indeed, as the UK is an advanced country, there should be no problem. We can buy baby food and formula milk there without worrying.
I hope Mayuki will continue to be as good as this for at least a few more years…
Mayuki has started crawling. Her first definite crawl was the day before yesterday, so she’s still not very quick, but she can definitely move in a clear direction, to get to the phone so that she can play with it. She really likes our phone. It beeps when you press the buttons, and if you press the right buttons, it talks to you. Yesterday, she managed to call the automated weather forecast. Not quite sure how she managed that, but it was her first phone call.
Talking of calling, she called me yesterday as well. She was playing in the living room, while I was working in my office. The office door wasn’t quite closed all the way, and Mayuki crawled to a point where she could see me.
She then called out “Dada”, two or three times, and crawled towards the door, trying to push it open when she got there.
She only says “mamamama” when she’s crying and wants something.
Of course, before I get too confident that she likes me better, we have to consider bedtime. Last night, as soon as I picked her up, wearing my pyjamas, she started screaming and crying, and strying to push herself away from me, with her arms and legs both pushing hard against my chest. When I put her sitting on the bed, she started trying to crawl off it, but didn’t stop crying. In the end, I had to take her to Yuriko, whereupon she promptly went quiet, and then fell asleep while being fed.
We can only conclude that Mayuki prefers Mummy and Daddy at different times.
As usual on Mondays, I was looking after Mayuki today while Yuriko went to her kimono class. We went for a walk in the morning to look at the Hydrangea Temple (very pretty), and then played a bit and looked at books. Around 3:30, Mayuki got sleepy, so I got her off to sleep and put her in her bouncer. From that point, I wanted her to sleep for as long as possible, so that I could read. Er, and because it’s good for her.
To do this, I used the mirror neuron trick. Every time she started to wake up, opening her eyes and starting to complain, I looked towards her, and closed my eyes and dropped my head, as if I were falling asleep. Occasionally I needed to do this a couple of times, but it kept her asleep for two hours.
Human brains contain mirror neurons, which are active in babies from a very early age. They dispose you towards imitating actions you see, priming the muscles to act in the same way. (Recent research suggests it may be a bit more complex than that, but in most cases that’s what they seem to do.) Thus, when Mayuki sees me close my eyes and my head droop, her brain is primed to close her own eyes and relax her own neck.
A second well-established neurological effect is that if you do the actions associated with an emotion, it biases you towards that emotion. Smiling makes you more likely to be happy, for example. Thus, closing your eyes and nodding off makes you sleepy.
Now, these are only biases, not compulsions; the trick doesn’t work when Mayuki isn’t really tired anymore, or if she’s woken up all the way. However, if I’m sitting with line of sight to her, and paying attention, I can catch her early enough, and push her brain into the “go back to sleep” state, rather than the “wake up and pester Daddy” state.
Does it actually work? Well, I kept her asleep for two hours today, and I’ve done it before, the same way. If she’s out of my line of sight so I can’t do it, she rarely sleeps that long during the day these days. The experimental data suggest that it should work. However, real situations are complex. Maybe it’s something else. Waking up and seeing Daddy ought to make her feel secure, and thus more likely to sleep. Logically, however, seeing Daddy apparently fall asleep should make her nervous; no-one’s keeping watch.
So, does ruthlessly manipulating her neurophysiology make me a bad parent?
On Monday evening, I went with Yuriko and Mayuki to see the fireflies.
Fireflies are fairly common in Japan, and children going to watch them over a river on a summer evening is a standard image of childhood. It’s probably something like the eating ice cream and drinking ginger beer image of British childhood, in that the number of children who’ve done it in the last fifty years is probably quite limited. Nevertheless, there is a little river within easy walking distance of our home where we can see fireflies.
Admittedly, we saw a grand total of three. We may have been a little bit too late, or possibly being in the middle of the Tokyo sprawl limits them. Still, it was the first time I’d seen them. They were a lot brighter, and a lot bluer, than I’d expected. I’d expected a greenish light, but they looked more bluish, and they were really bright and noticeable as they flashed. We pointed them out to Mayuki, but I’m not sure whether she really noticed them. I did, though, and I hope we can be organised enough to go back next year.
Yesterday was Fathers’ Day, and the first one since I became a father. So I received a big “card” in a frame; essentially a single scrapbooked page with pictures of me and Mayuki on. It’s very nice, although I gather that Mayuki herself did not have much to do with the construction. Maybe next year.
In the afternoon I went to the Kawasaki Representative Assembly for Foreign Residents to observe, but left early so that I could get back to go out for dinner in the evening. We went to the tonkatsu restaurant near our flat, and it was very nice. What’s more, Mayuki was a very good girl, playing quietly all through the meal, so that we could both eat and enjoy it.
Family life is great, isn’t it.
There’s been another big earthquake in Japan, but it was a long way from here. We think it did have an effect here, though; it made our living room light swing a bit. So we’re fine, but there is likely to be quite a bit of damage in Tohoku, as the quake is estimated to have been magnitude seven. (This is why it made our light swing despite being a long way away.)
Since I’m writing, a quick update on Mayuki. She’s fine, and still lively and happy. She now likes standing up in her bath and banging on the sides of the bathtub, and really doesn’t like me washing her face. That’s odd, because a couple of months ago she really liked it. She likes playing with her picture books, and turns the pages all by herself. Of course, she also holds the book upside-down and turns the pages the wrong way, but you can’t have everything. Bringing her up with books is a good way to start.
She’s also mimicking our actions more obviously. She’s started waving goodbye from time to time, and when we put our hands together to say “itadakimasu” before eating, she does, too. With a bit of clapping added, but she is quite clearly imitating us.
She’s still not crawling, but she’s very close, and can actually move herself around a bit. She’s getting quite good at pulling herself up to a standing position, and walks if you hold her hands and guide her.
In short, everything seems to be well within the normal range.
Well, apart from the fact that she is far and away the cutest and cleverest baby the world has ever seen, of course.
We’re going to the UK this summer, so we need to sort out passports. I renewed mine back in February, because it expired in May, and at that point picked up the forms and instructions to get Mayuki’s UK passport. Most of it was easy, relying on documents we already had around. We just had to get the photos.
Now, Mayuki is actually comparatively easy to photograph. She likes cameras, and looks at them quite a bit. Doing it in a booth would be difficult, but getting them taken at a studio should be straightforward.
The first time Yuriko went, she just got them taken according to Japanese rules. With a blue background. Fine in Japan, but no good for the UK.
The second time, she looked at the UK rules, but didn’t take them with her, and so missed the fact that there must be nothing printed on the back of the photos, not even the name of the photo paper manufacturer. Another useless set.
The third time, she took the rules with her, went over them carefully with the photographer, and got a set that looked fine. I had my university professor student endorse the back, and, this morning, went to the British Embassy website to check on the current yen price for a passport.
They’ve changed the rules for photographs. White backgrounds are now unacceptable. We have to get another set taken.
At this rate, she’ll be going to the UK on her Japanese passport (which was no problem, incidentally, and is just waiting to be picked up).