The outside world could be seen through the open doors that were the only source of light. The sun shone on the path, picking out a discarded tissue wrapper, its garish colours painful to see, a sharp stabbing sensation. The priest crossed the path in front, failing to bow her head, causing exasperation. Bright green weeds grew between the stone of the path, each leaf abrasive, raising shudders as the breeze made them dance. As the priest paused by the torii to speak to someone currently out of sight, her voice was ever so slightly off-key, a jarring clash with the hum of the environment.

A second woman joined the priest at the top of the stairs, the sharp crack of an electric shock as she passed through the torii without bowing. The priest led her to the purification basin, the ill-cared for plants around it a constant, throbbing ache soothed only a little by the pure balm of the flowing water. Impurity was washed away with the water as the two women cleansed themselves, following the simplified ritual that was all that was practised any more. As they walked towards the shrine, the detritus of passing humanity became painfully clear: an empty plastic bottle, the chemical stench burning; the end of a cigarette, heavy with smothering pollution, manifold and clinging; part of a sweet wrapper, its sickly aura only partly offset by the anticipation that clung to it. The stifling bare mud clung, denied growth, denied expression, adding a touch of impurity to their feet even as they came closer.

The other woman cast some money into the box, a spark of light, but dim and fading quickly as there was no passion behind it; money she could easily do without, given to a cause for which she cared little. The priest bowed and paid her respects, the power of her offering the tiniest fraction weaker than the last time, continuing its decay. The other woman tried to match her, but she gave the rite no energy beyond its own power, nothing to make it special.

But she was special. She was… open. No, not that. She fitted. She was a part of the shrine despite feeling out of place, looking around as if there should be something here to welcome her, as if she could feel it too, but understood it still less. She looked straight in, with recognition in her eyes, and in turn recognised herself.

The shock jolted Akiko awake. She had dreamed of herself, so who had she dreamed she was? The dream stayed unusually vivid in her mind, and it didn’t take long to piece it together. She had dreamed her visit to the shrine, as seen from the shrine building, at least most of the time, although sometimes the point of view seemed to be right beside her. And that final recognition was the moment that she had seen the snake in the depths of the shrine.

Which meant that she had been dreaming from the snake’s point of view.

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“I’m sorry we can’t spend the evening together, Akiko, but I’ve got to go for drinks with the boss.”

“Oh, that’s all right, Naoyuki. I understand.” Akiko wasn’t on the career track and was female, and so could get out of going for drinks most of the time; things were very different for Naoyuki. She was a bit disappointed, but not surprised. “How was Niigata?” She took a piece of sushi off the leaf as she asked, dipping it briskly in the soy sauce before eating it.

“Well, it’s a provincial city, isn’t it. No comparison with Tokyo, and only a few of them even realise it.” He reached for his own sushi, calling out to order another two. Akiko, realising that Naoyuki would, of course, be paying for lunch, did the same, before asking her boyfriend another question.

“And the meetings? How did they go?”

“There didn’t seem to be any problems. Everything is moving forward.” His smile was much broader than his words seemed to warrant, and Akiko smiled in reply.

“Well done! So, when do they promote you?”

“Oh, well…” Naoyuki didn’t respond directly, but Akiko could tell that he was pleased. It seemed like a good opportunity to broach the subject weighing on her mind.

“Er, it’s a change of subject, but…” She realised that she didn’t really know how to start talking about the shrine. I’m hallucinating a giant snake was definitely not a good opening gambit.

“No problem. What is it?” Naoyuki didn’t seem to have noticed her discomposure. Akiko decided to start from the most neutral point.

“I’ve been to my local shrine a couple of times in the last week.”

“Oh?” Naoyuki didn’t really sound very interested, but then it wasn’t a very interesting opening.

“The first time was just to shelter from that big storm, but I went back over the weekend, in better weather.”

“Really?”

Akiko’s frustration started to build, as Naoyuki wasn’t giving her any openings to tell him what was really bothering her. She decided to try again.

“Apparently it’s a very old shrine.”

“Well, I’m sure that’s very interesting, for old people. It doesn’t really have much to do with people like us, though, does it?”

Akiko managed to suppress her sigh; it was obvious that she wasn’t going to be able to talk about it to Naoyuki.

“No, I suppose not.”

“Was that the most interesting thing that happened to you while I was away?”

“Of course.” Akiko injected some cheer into her voice. “You were away, so there was nothing interesting for me to do.”

“Oh, you’re only saying that.” Naoyuki smiled as he said it, though, and Akiko could tell that he was pleased.

“It’s a real shame we can’t see each other tonight,” Akiko said, hoping that Naoyuki would forget she’d ever mentioned the shrine.

“It is. But I should be able to get away tomorrow, or at least the day after.”

Akiko smiled, and nodded, deciding that raising the subject with Naoyuki had been a mistake.

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Satomi and Megumi chattered cheerfully about about films as they drank their tea, but Akiko found that she couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying, much less take part in the conversation. She still wanted to know what was in and what wasn’t, and scraps of what her colleagues had said seized her attention for a moment, before her worries about the shrine took over.

She realised that, if she didn’t say something soon, the other two would realise that something was the matter, and they might ask questions that were difficult to answer. Akiko waited for a pause in the discussion, and then jumped in.

“I know it’s changing the subject, but have either of you been to a shrine recently?” Satomi and Megumi both turned to look at her, their faces surprised.

“No,” Megumi replied first, “not since New Year’s. We went to Meiji Shrine then, dressed up in kimono. Why ask all of a sudden? Isn’t the answer obvious?”

“Same here,” Satomi added. “Shichi-go-san, and New Year. Who goes to a shrine at any other time? Have you?”

Akiko could feel herself starting to blush, and she was sure that Satomi would notice, even though Megumi might not. She thought quickly, searching for a good answer.

“Do you remember the big rainstorm last week? I got caught in it, and took shelter at my local shrine while I called a taxi.”

“So, a bit like a bus shelter, then?” Megumi asked, smiling. Akiko winced slightly, moving quickly to take a sip of tea to cover it up. Describing the shrine as a bus shelter really felt wrong, although, if you put it that way, that was what she had been thinking when she first went in. Still, it wasn’t a good way to think about it.

“I suppose so, a bit,” she began. “Rather better built than most bus shelters, though.”

“Fewer buses, too.” Akiko forced a smile. Megumi really wasn’t taking this seriously.

“Yes, that too.”

“I’ve seen a few shrines from the street,” Satomi put in. “There doesn’t seem to be anything interesting in them; temples have prettier buildings, and shrines have no Buddha images to look at, either.”

Temples don’t have giant multi-coloured snakes, either, Akiko thought. This was a stupid idea. How can I possibly talk to these two about it? And how can I get off the topic?

“Oh, well, then you wouldn’t know about the gate thing, then,” she said, grasping at something that might seem reasonable.

“Gate thing? You mean the torii, with the two bars at the top?” Satomi asked. “Know what about it?”

“Um, what it’s called. I see you do.” Akiko was a little embarrassed.

“Surely that’s common knowledge?” Satomi looked at Megumi, who quickly nodded. Akiko was blushing again, but she was also sure that Megumi hadn’t known. “All shrines have them,” Satomi continued, “and temples don’t. It’s how you can tell the difference. Come on, your parents must have told you that, surely?”

“Not mine…” Akiko conceded, although Megumi was nodding in agreement.

“Oh? Well, I guess every family is different. Anyway, about Handsome Suit…” The conversation turned back to films, but Akiko still couldn’t really participate.

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The dreams and hallucinations preyed on Akiko’s mind through the afternoon, even though she didn’t actually see the snake anywhere in the office. She was sure that Satomi noticed her distraction, and left soon after five. Fortunately, it wasn’t a busy period, and Megumi got up to leave mere moments after Akiko, so Akiko was sure that her behaviour didn’t stand out.

She stared at her reflection in the windows of the underground train, and finally asked herself, straight out, if she was going mad.

How would I know? she asked her reflection. I can’t give myself a second opinion. Her reflection did not reply, and after a moment Akiko realised that she had been half-afraid, half-hoping that it would. She shook herself to break out of her strange reverie as the train came out of the tunnel into the fading evening light.

Am I going mad? Who can I talk to? What can I do? Is this still all a dream? Akiko made her way home lost in thought, so much so that it was only the shouting from ahead of her that made her aware of her surroundings. The road in front had been turned into a football field, and a group of children, maybe junior high, maybe the end of elementary school, were playing, laughing and ignoring the drivers shouting at them to get out of the way, and the homeowners worried about windows.

Akiko couldn’t completely suppress a smile, and she shook her head slightly as she watched them. It was certainly the wrong place, but they did seem to be having fun.

After watching for a few minutes, Akiko decided that it wasn’t worth trying to force her way through the game, so she turned back, to take another route home. As she did, she realised that the natural route would, once again, take her past Tamao Shrine.

It’s almost as if someone wants me to visit the shrine, she thought, and thinking it brought her up short. Maybe someone did want her to visit the shrine. Maybe the kami of the shrine wanted her to visit, and that was why there were visions and strange diversions on her way home.

Akiko soon realised that she wanted to believe that. It would not only make her sane, it would make her special. She started walking again, but slowly, as she tried to work out whether there were any good reasons to believe it, or at least to consider the possibility.

She had certainly thought she saw the snake; that was undeniable. And, over the last few days, she had dreamed of the shrine a lot. Then there were the diversions. Only three, so far, so they could be random, but on the other hand… Akiko decided that it wasn’t unreasonable to at least consider the possibility.

As she approached the shrine, something else occurred to her. There was someone she could talk to about it, someone much more appropriate than Naoyuki, Satomi, or Megumi. She could talk to the priest at the shrine. She quickened her pace, eager to make some progress.

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Akiko almost ran up the steps to the shrine, one hand on the railing for balance. At the top of the steps she looked around, wondering where the priest was. She couldn’t see anyone, but then she heard a drum beat from the shrine building, its deep sonority starting slow and then speeding up, before coming to a sudden stop.

She started towards the shrine, and went straight past the purification basin. As she did, however, she felt her stomach twist, and she turned back. The water was icy cold as she poured it over her hands, and sharp in her mouth, but as she replaced the ladle she felt much better, somehow lighter in the core of her body.

A chanting voice became audible as she approached the shrine, and as she climbed the steps she began to make out words. It was the priest’s voice, and she almost seemed to be speaking Japanese, but the words did not quite fit together in the right way.

From the top of the steps she could see into the shrine, where Shiraishi was just standing up from kneeling in front of a large stick with lots of paper streamers stuck onto it. The priest was wearing a long robe over the white kimono and purple hakama this time, and had a black crown-like thing with three peaks at the front on her head. She picked the stick up, and walked to wave it over three other people sitting in the body of the shrine.

There were two men, one older, and one younger, both wearing suits, and an older woman in a kimono. They looked like a family, and Akiko quickly realised that they must be having a more formal prayer said, as Shiraishi had mentioned on Akiko’s last visit. Akiko was a little embarrassed, but she wanted to talk to the priest, so she waited.

Shiraishi went towards the back of the shrine to read something, again in almost-Japanese, and then the older man put a small green branch with white paper tied on it onto a table, before everyone bowed and clapped as Shiraishi had taught her. Akiko wondered whether she should join in, but in the end decided not to.

And then it was over, and the family, turning to leave, spotted her. The woman just nodded, but the younger man, who was, now she could see his face, clearly the son, looked for rather longer, before bowing quickly, as if confused or embarrassed about something. The older man also looked at her for a while, and Akiko looked back, sure that she had seen him somewhere. Suddenly, he smiled and bowed.

“Ah, hello again.” As he did, Akiko remembered where she had seen him: he had been leaving the shrine as she came in the last time. The priest looked between them.

“Mr Takenaka, do you know Ms Tanahata?” He shook his head.

“I saw her coming to the shrine a few days ago, and just now she looked familiar.”

“Oh, I see. Well,” Shiraishi turned to Akiko, “can I help you with something?”

“Er, I’d like to talk to you about something.” The priest nodded.

“If you can wait a few minutes, I’ll just get changed.” Akiko indicated that this was fine, and Shiraishi led the Takenakas out of the shrine.

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Left alone in front of the shrine, Akiko wondered what to do. This time, there was no sign of a snake behind the blind, although a pair of lamps were burning there, their light flickering through the gaps. A curtain hung across the top of the blind, gathered in the centre, and embroidered on each side with a string of beads coiled into a spiral. Akiko stared at the mark for a few moments, sure that she had seen it somewhere before, before deciding that it must have been the last time she visited the shrine.

Thinking of that reminded her of the etiquette she had been taught.

If it really is the kami trying to get me to visit, I’d best be polite, she thought, and she took out her purse, searching for a 100 yen coin.

When she straightened up from the final bow, her breath caught in her throat as her stomach lurched and her heart pounded. The golden eyes were mesmerising, shining with their own light, twin suns rising in a bank of clouds all the colours of the rainbow. The sound of her blood surging in her ears faded, replaced by the whisper of scales sliding over each other as the snake moved. Its tongue flickered, lightning dancing around its mouth, reflecting off and refracting through the scales, sending shards of green, red, and purple light dancing over the inside of the shrine.

The snake had its head raised, as normal, and alternating bands of gold and silver formed a track down its belly, into the mass of coils that covered the dais like a living necklace. They shifted slightly, and then picked up speed, the whisper turning into the sound of a stream rushing between rocks, and there was even a scent of wet stone on the air. The snake’s enormous body descended gracefully from the dais, catching the light from the lamps and scattering it around the interior in a dazzling display. Akiko started breathing again, rapid pants that sounded loud in her ears, as her fingernails dug into her palms. Her stomach lurched again, but she could not tell whether she was afraid, or excited.

Fear would be sensible, said one voice in the back of her mind, but it was being shouted down by another repeating so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful…

The snake writhed between the chairs until its body filled the space in the front of the shrine, and its head hung over the offering box, its nose mere centimetres from Akiko’s. Still she didn’t move, feeling almost trapped in those eyes, those pools of golden light, candles in a bejewelled setting. The lightning tongue flicked out again, and Akiko felt a tingle across her lips. Again, across her forehead. As the prickling faded, so did her tension; she felt as safe and comfortable as she ever had, even as a child.

Once more the tongue flicked out, across her eyes, and the brilliant silver of lightning filled her vision, blinding her.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

As her vision cleared, the shrine was empty, and Shiraishi stood beside her.

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For several moments, Akiko couldn’t say anything. The sense of calm had remained, and it took her a little while to marshal her thoughts back into a question.

“Ah, yes. I wanted to ask about the kami of this shrine.”

“About the kami? Well, he’s a local kami. He looks after this area. What did you want to know about him?”

“A male kami, then? Do kami have male and female?”

“Yes, of course they do. Amaterasu Omikami is female, and Hachiman is male. Tamao is male, too; the final ‘o’ in his name is sometimes written with the character for “male”.”

“Sometimes?”

“There are lots of ways of writing his name in the old documents, and three common ones. “Male spirit”, “tail of the Tama River”, and “string of jewels”.”

That last one gave Akiko a bit of a shock, and she looked back into the shrine.

“So, that mark is derived from the last name?” She pointed to the circular design on the curtains.

“That’s the shrine mon. Yes, that’s right. At least, we assume it is; the shrine has been using the mon for centuries, and there’s no surviving record of why it was chosen. I suppose it’s possible that the name came from the mon, but not very likely.”

Akiko realised that these questions weren’t getting her any closer to what she wanted to ask. Suddenly, she had an idea.

“Are there any stories of the kami appearing as a snake? One that looks like a string of jewels?” The priest looked surprised.

“Have you been reading up about it?” Akiko shook her head. “That’s a very good question from someone who didn’t know the difference between a shrine and a temple a few days ago… I’m sorry, that was rude.” Akiko blushed a little, but shook her head again.

“True, though. And I’m still not entirely sure I understand the difference properly.

“Well, anyway, yes, there are such legends. Actually, the legend recorded in the Fudoki is of the kami appearing as a string of jewels and a snake, and changing from one to the other. And the snake retained much of the appearance of the jewels.”

Akiko felt her heart beating faster, and her mouth went dry. It really didn’t seem likely that she could be hallucinating something that matched the legends so well.

“Actually,” Shiraishi continued, “the goshintai is a jewel necklace, a very old one.”

“Goshintai?” Akiko tried to work out from the sounds what the word meant, but asking was likely to be quicker.

“The item that the spirit of the kami inhabits within the shrine. Almost all shrines have one.”

“Oh? Can I see it?”

Shiraishi looked really shocked for a moment, then smiled, and shook her head gently.

“And then back to questions like that. No, I’m afraid you can’t see the goshintai. I’ve never seen the goshintai. It’s not like a Buddha image, where looking at it is part of the standard prayer.”

“If you’ve never seen it, how…” Akiko stopped herself. “I’m sorry, that was rude and stupid. Records.” Shiraishi nodded.

“It’s only taken out during disasters. Even in the air-raids it was kept inside its case. But in a fire in the eighteenth century it had to be taken out, and the priest then wrote about what it looked like.” Shiraishi smiled slightly. “I sometimes half wish that the shrine would burn down so that I could see what it looks like.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand why it’s secret.”

“It’s not secret, really, just dangerous. Kami are not safe, you know. Even when they are on our side.” That made Akiko nervous again, remembering the way that the eyes had held her. What would have happened if Shiraishi had not come along when she did?

“I see,” she said. “I… Can I tell you something that might sound a bit strange?” The priest nodded, interest clear on her face. Akiko looked down, following the pattern of the grain in the boards with her eyes. She realised what she was doing, and looked back at Shiraishi, smiling apologetically. The priest was just waiting, smiling encouragingly. Akiko took a deep breath, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak while looking at Shiraishi. She turned away and looked into the shrine, at the coiled jewels on the curtains.

“I think I’ve seen Tamao.” She said it quickly, to get it out.

There was a long silence.

“I beg your pardon?” Akiko wasn’t sure how to interpret the priest’s tone, but it wasn’t encouraging. She took another deep breath.

“I’ve seen the kami. In dreams. And in the shrine. Just now, before you came out. I could see him in the shrine.”

The silence stretched out again, and Akiko turned back to Shiraishi. The older woman’s face was set, but her eyes seemed to sparkle. Akiko looked down, and saw that the priest was wringing her hands. She looked up again.

“Don’t you believe me?” Akiko hadn’t meant to say that, and certainly not in such a pleading tone of voice.

“There was nothing in the shrine but chairs. I don’t know what your scheme is, but you aren’t going to trick me.”

“Trick you?” Akiko screeched the words, and took a deep breath to get her voice under control. “I was hoping you would help me.”

“If you want that sort of help, go to a psychiatrist. I’m a priest.”

“Aren’t you supposed to deal with the kami?”

“You can’t see them! They aren’t that sort of thing! If you could see them, don’t you think that I would? I live here, I perform rituals every day. There’s nothing to see.” Akiko could feel tears pricking at her eyes and, with a shock, realised that the priest was on the edge of crying as well.

“I can see him!”

“No you can’t! You’re hallucinating! You aren’t going to con me with such a ridiculous story!” The priest was shouting by the end, and Akiko felt her body shudder as a sob escaped.

“I’m not trying to con you!” It came out as a wail, and, despair settling over her, Akiko turned away to run from the shrine, again.

This time, the priest did not call after her.

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