Akiko closed the door of the storage room, making sure that it was locked. She hoped that three weeks would be long enough to find somewhere permanent to live; she didn’t want to pay for it for any longer than was absolutely necessary. Hefting the bag containing the items she’d decided she needed, she looked at her watch. Already after eleven. She walked to the entrance and looked out at the continuing rain, wondering where she was going to sleep.

The glow of neon over near the expressway caught her attention, and offered a solution. There was a cluster of love hotels near the interchange, and no doubt at least one would have vacancies. Pushing open the door, she stepped out into the cold rain of the night.

She didn’t like the look of the first hotel she came to, but the second looked rather less seedy, and had vacancies, so she booked herself in. The room booking machine gave her options for three hours or overnight, and she booked overnight, for 7,000 yen, collecting the card key from the slot at the bottom. As it fell, she heard noises behind her, and hurried through the curtains into the elevator lobby before anyone could see that she was there alone.

The room was much as she expected, with a large bed, large bath, small karaoke machine, and bowl full of condoms. She’d visited love hotels a few times with her boyfriends, and this one was fairly standard. It was somewhere to sleep, at any rate.

She pulled off her shoes, and then took off the raincoat Shiraishi had lent her and hung it behind the door. Stepping up into the room proper, she opened her case, determined to finally change out of her work clothes.

After changing, she looked at the uniform lying on the bed, and wondered what to do about it. Strictly speaking, she should return it to the company, but she couldn’t face the thought of going back.

And at that moment the reality of her situation hit her again, and she sank down on to the bed, fighting a losing battle with tears. What on earth was she going to do? She couldn’t live in a love hotel for ever. Not alone.

She pulled her cell phone out of her bag, grateful that it had survived being left on the landing, and dialled Naoyuki. She listened as his phone rang, until it turned over to the answering service. Hanging up, she dialled again. And again. And again. And again.

She thought about leaving a message, but she could think of nothing to say. She tried anyway, and left a largely silent message, during which she managed to say his name once.

Dropping the phone onto the bed, she started crying again. Naoyuki wouldn’t call back this time, she was sure of it. No job, no home, no boyfriend, 26 years old. What kind of a failure was she?

She picked the phone up to call Naoyuki again, sobbing as the ringing tone sounded in her ears, redialling every time the answering service came on, hanging up and redialling, redialling.

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Akiko woke up lying on the bed in the love hotel, her cell phone still clutched in her hand. She pushed herself upright, looking at the time: six am. She felt empty, utterly drained, and tired as she was she could tell that she wouldn’t sleep. Struggling to her feet, she stretched and looked around the room. The bath was inviting, and the sight of her tear-stained face in the mirror convinced her that she really wanted to freshen up.

Might as well take advantage of the facilities, she thought, as she started running the bath.

It was only after she had got in, and begun to relax in the hot water, that she noticed that the whole wall was a mirror, including the portion that formed one side of the bath, so that even the parts of her that were underwater were reflected. She smiled slightly, thinking that Naoyuki would really like it.

Sobs rose in her chest again and, wrapping her arms around her legs, she let them come, let her tears fall into the bath, let herself go completely.

She wasn’t sure how much time passed before her breathing settled and the tears stopped flowing, but the water was still warm. She took a few deep breaths, and brushed the tears from her eyes, glancing into the mirror.

There was no reflection. Instead, she saw the water of the bath continuing, uninterrupted, until it reached a boundary of natural stones, large ones. Beyond them was a grassy area, crossed by a stone path and surrounded by towering trees. Sunlight fell through the leaves, sparkling off the surface of the water, and making the roof of the small open hut beside the pool almost glow, the straw thatching turning gold. Inside the hut she could see a yukata, hanging from a hook, and a white towel lay on one of the stones, as if she had abandoned it there.

Akiko quickly looked the other way, confirming that the bathroom of the love hotel was still there, and unchanged. She turned back to the mirror, where the pool was still visible. She realised that she couldn’t see any reflection at all, and watched as ripples in the surface of the water crossed the line where the mirror should be, uninterrupted. Cautiously, she stretched a hand out towards the mirror, reaching forward, expecting to feel it any moment, but her hand just kept going.

She snatched it back, as she realised that she could smell pine needles, and hear the wind in the branches. She was about to reach out again, when she heard voices from the mirror, women’s voices, coming from further down the path where it disappeared into the woods.

Stung into action, Akiko scrambled out of the bath, back into the love hotel, and grabbed a towel from the rack, wrapping it round her. She turned back, to be confronted by her reflection, wrapped in a white towel, her face almost as pale as the fabric.

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Akiko sat in a coffee shop, nursing her coffee to make it last as long as possible. The jobs paper was open on the table in front of her as she went through it, looking, first, for jobs that looked appealing, as well as available soon. Each time she found a possibility, she called the contact number.

“Hello, my name is Akiko Tanahata. I’m calling about the position you advertised in this week’s Job Pages.”

The responses she got were very varied, but had one thing in common.

“I’m terribly sorry, but we’ve already filled that post.

“I’m afraid that advert was put in by mistake; we filled that post last year.”

“Unfortunately, due to the economic conditions, we have had to decide against filling that vacancy.”

“Thank you. I have to tell you that the advert was incomplete, however; we require experience using 3D CAD software. Do you have any?”

After a couple of hours of this, Akiko was getting so frustrated she felt like crying again.

This is ridiculous, she told herself. There must be jobs available in Kawasaki. Keep looking. Don’t give up.

Despite her resolution, however, she found herself staring blankly at the pages, and finally getting up to order another coffee.

When she sat down again, she forced herself to look through the magazine once more, but her heart wasn’t in it. She glanced over the pages, barely taking in the details of the adverts, while her mind went over her last day at work, the previous day, and then the previous week, as she tried to understand why she had lost her job. In the cold light of day, the idea that the kami had deliberately driven her out of her job seemed ridiculous, and she was almost convinced to put the sequence of incidents down to bad luck.

But she still couldn’t understand why she’d been sacked. It really was true that Megumi made the same sorts of mistakes all the time, and while her father’s position bought her some security, it couldn’t be that much. And, seriously, she couldn’t believe that Megumi and Mr Kanayama were having an affair. An image formed in her mind, and, shuddering, she tried to forget it, even as it brought a brief smile to her lips.

She shook her head, telling herself to stop brooding, and tried to concentrate on the job adverts again. She found another one that looked promising, and picked up her cell phone to call.

“Hello, my name is…”

“If this is about the job, don’t bother.” The woman at the other end interrupted her, her voice strained. “The company’s just gone bust.” She then hung up, without waiting to see whether that really was what Akiko had wanted. Akiko dropped her phone onto the table, and buried her face in her hands.

A curse. A curse was the only reasonable explanation. Tamao was cursing every company in Kawasaki in an attempt to stop her getting a job.

Oh, for goodness’ sake, woman, she berated herself, and looked up again. Her eyes fell on the coat over the chair opposite. Shiraishi’s raincoat. Akiko sighed as she realised that she would have to return it, and decided to get it over with as soon as possible.

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Akiko reached the shrine precincts without any trouble, and the threatening clouds did not open up to actual rain along the way. At the bottom of the steps, however, she paused, looking up them at the torii. Something was strange about the way she felt, and it took a moment for her to work out what it was.

She wasn’t afraid. She wasn’t nervous. She wasn’t even angry. What she was feeling was anticipation. That made no sense. She was almost convinced that Tamao was persecuting her; why should she feel as though she wanted to be here?

Under the grey clouds, the steps up through the bank were dark, and Akiko’s footfalls sounded very loud in her ears. Looking up, the area beyond the torii seemed very bright despite the cloudy day, but when she reached the top, bowing her head to enter, there was nothing unusual to see. The ground was still damp from the rain, and she had to fight down a brief urge to hunt for litter.

She had already purified herself at the basin before she realised what she was doing, and remembered that she had planned to go straight to the house and just give the coat back. At this point, she thought, I might as well pay my respects first. She walked over to the shrine, climbing the slick wooden steps, and rang the bell, without throwing any money in, before bowing, clapping, and bowing again. She stood quietly for a few moments, letting her eyes adjust to the gloom within the shrine, wondering whether she would see the snake.

She felt that she didn’t mind either way. It was just relaxing to be back at the shrine, back where she didn’t need to worry.

It was some time after that thought crossed her mind before she realised how strange it was. Why did she not have to worry here? When she thought back to the things she had seen, or the time she had woken up here in her nightwear, worrying seemed like the most sensible reaction. And, she had to remind herself, the kami had cursed her and ruined her life. Why do I have to remind myself of that? she asked herself.

None of it broke the mood. She was still calmly considering the problem of why she was so calm, standing, completely relaxed, under the eaves of the shrine, watching the flames flicker and dance in the two lanterns at the rear of the hall, light reflecting off the metal fittings on the inner doors, closed today, hiding the blind.

Akiko shook herself out of her reverie. She was here to return the coat, and it wouldn’t do to forget. Bowing once more, to take her leave, she went down from the shrine and across to the house, ringing the bell. Shiraishi soon came, and looked surprised to see her.

“Oh, Ms Tanahata.”

“I brought your coat back. Thank you.”

“Oh. Oh yes, of course. Thank you. I hope you are all right now.”

“Yes, thank you.” An easy social lie, but it was somehow bitter on her tongue.

“Well… Oh.” Shiraishi was looking over Akiko’s shoulder, and she looked back as well, to see a young man standing there, smiling shyly, Takenaka’s son, what was his name? Oh yes, Akira.

“Good morning Ms Tanahata, Revd Shiraishi.”

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“Good morning, Akira,” Shiraishi replied. “I’ll go and get changed; come and wait inside. If you’ll excuse me, Ms Tanahata.” The priest bowed briefly to Akiko, who quickly returned it, and then disappeared into the shrine house.

Akira made no move to go into the house, just standing on the path. Akiko thought she might be in the way, and took a step back, away from the door, but he still didn’t move.

“Ah… Have you come for a ceremony as well?” he asked, sounding a little nervous.

“No, I was just returning a coat.” Akira said nothing, but looked like he was waiting for Akiko to say more. She was about to make her excuses and leave, when she realised that she did not, in fact, have anywhere to go or anything to do, and extending the conversation suddenly seemed like a very good plan. “Are you here for a ceremony, then?”

“Yes,” Akira replied, enthusiastically. “I’ve come to have a business success ceremony performed for my father.” He stopped, suddenly, and Akiko was sure he had been planning to say more. She glanced behind her, but Shiraishi hadn’t reappeared.

“A business success ceremony? What’s that like?”

“Like most other ceremonies, except that the norito is a request for business success.”

“Norito?” It was a word Akiko had not heard before.

“Oh, the words that the priest says to the kami. The main bit of the ceremony, I suppose.”

“Oh, the prayer?”

“Yes, I suppose it is a lot like a prayer. Actually,” he grinned suddenly, “I’m not at all sure what the official difference is. Apart from noritos being in old Japanese, I suppose, but I don’t imagine that’s the most important distinction.”

“Hmm, no.” Akiko fell silent for a moment, as she couldn’t think of anything else to say about noritos.”So… is there any particular reason for this ceremony?” She wondered if there was something special about the day, or some rule that you were supposed to have the ceremony every year.

“Well, my father’s business isn’t doing well. I don’t know the details, but I know that there aren’t as many clients as there are normally. I think he’s worried about it, so I decided to have an extra ceremony done. It can’t hurt.” Akiko felt very awkward, unsure that she wanted to have been told all of this. Akira suddenly blushed, and continued. “Don’t tell my father, will you? I haven’t told him I’ve come to have the ceremony done.”

“No, of course not. I probably won’t have the chance to.”

“Well, you do seem to bump into him quite a lot. You saw him yesterday, right?” Now it was Akiko’s turn to blush, and she could feel her face heating up. How much had Mr Takenaka told his son about her protest to the kami? Or the fight with Naoyuki? How much had he seen, come to that? Akira’s face became slightly quizzical, which, after a moment, was a relief. If he didn’t know why she was embarrassed, his father couldn’t have said very much.

“That’s true, I did. But it was pure chance.”

“Still outside, Akira?” Shiraishi’s voice came from inside the house, and Akiko and Akira both turned to see her standing there in full ceremonial vestments. “If you would like to come in now, we can do the ceremony.”

“And I should be going,” Akiko said. “Thank you again for the loan of the coat, Revd Shiraishi.”

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Akiko wandered aimlessly for some time after leaving the shrine, and eventually found herself in a cafe, sitting in a booth away from the door and nursing a single cup of coffee. The job magazine sat on the table in front of her, but she couldn’t bring herself to open it again. What was the point? They were just going to have reasons to reject her again, and she wasn’t sure she could take that right now. She had tried calling Naoyuki again, but again he had ignored her. Sitting with her phone in her hand, she suddenly decided to call her mother. She could explain the situation, and get some sympathy, at least, and probably real help.

Still, she found herself holding her phone, looking at it, for several minutes before she could bring herself to dial.

“Hello, this is Mrs Tanahata.”

“Mum? It’s Akiko.”

“Akiko? This is a nice surprise. You hardly ever call me.”

“Sorry, Mum.” Akiko paused, intending to explain her problems, but couldn’t quite bring herself to do it. “So, how are you? How’s Dad?”

“We’re both doing just fine. I was talking to Mrs Yamada at my calligraphy class; do you remember her?”

“Er, maybe…”

“Noriko’s mother. You were friends with Noriko.” Noriko Yamada… Akiko thought for a moment, and then remembered.

“Well, she was in my class. I wouldn’t say that we were friends.”

“Yes, well, anyway she was telling me that Noriko is getting married this summer, to the son of the president of the company where she’s been working. The second son, admittedly, so not the heir, but still, she’s done very well. And she was just an office worker, like you.”

“Mmm.” This really wasn’t what Akiko wanted to hear.

“So, when am I going to be able to tell Mrs Yamada about your wedding? He’s at a different company, right? Will you still quit when you get married?”

“Ah, well…” Now or never, Akiko thought, but she still couldn’t make herself say it.

“It’s getting a little embarrassing, you know. Most of my friends’ daughters are already married, or at least engaged, and some of them are even showing me pictures of grandchildren. I’m really looking forward to being able to show them pictures of mine.”

Akiko was frozen in place. What on earth could she say now? “My boyfriend dumped me because he caught me in a shrine”? That would hardly make her mother happy. And it didn’t seem particularly likely to elicit support, either. More likely, her mother would just berate her for throwing away such a great opportunity to get properly married, and at her age, too.

“So, how are things going with him? Any proposal yet?”

For a long moment, Akiko couldn’t bring herself to say anything.

“Akiko? Are you still there?”

“Yes, Mum. Sorry. Things are going perfectly well, but I’ll tell you when he proposes to me. You don’t think I’d keep that secret, do you?”

“Well, you never tell me anything, you know. I’m your mother, Akiko. You should tell me things.”

“Yes, I know. Anyway, I’m sorry, I need to get back to work.”

Akiko hung up, and put the phone down at the table, staring blankly at it. Who could she talk to?

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Akiko suddenly realised that it was dark outside, and when she looked at her watch she discovered it was after seven. She’d been sitting in the cafe, staring blankly into space, for hours. As she started gathering her things to leave, she realised that the waitresses had been watching her, and that they seemed somewhat relieved.

Relieved that I’m going, she wondered, or that I’m not ill? Their farewells were entirely conventional, however, and Akiko dashed out without meeting any of their eyes. She found a basic restaurant and bought herself some dinner, eating it without tasting it, drifting off into reveries repeatedly, so that the staff kept coming round to see whether she was all right. The place wasn’t busy, though, so they didn’t try to move her on. It was after nine before she left, and found herself just standing in the street outside.

I have nowhere to sleep. It struck her again, forcefully, and she struggled to control herself, to hold back tears. I can go back to the love hotel. No problem. The memory of her vision in the bath flickered through her mind, but she refused to let it influence her. She had to sleep somewhere.

She went to the coin locker to get her bags out, and started walking to the love hotels. Their garish neon cast strange light over the dark street, and the shadows of plants and utility poles were coloured, moving and shifting as the neon flashed and changed. Akiko jumped several times when she thought something was moving behind her, but when she looked it was just a bush, or a gate, and nothing to be frightened of. She told herself to stop jumping at shadows, but it made no difference; her nerves and tension just kept building.

And then a shadow looked back at her.

She had reached the love hotels, and was passing one that looked particularly seedy when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. Her heart leaping, she turned to look. For a moment, it was just a shadow, with a couple of points of garish purple neon in it, over a side door. Then the points of neon blinked. When they came back they moved, together, scuttling round the top of the door, enveloped in darkness, and Akiko couldn’t see them as anything other than eyes.

It was suddenly difficult to breathe, and she stumbled backwards until she stepped over the edge of the road, into the bushes that marked the edge of the field. The twigs scratched at her hands and caught at her clothes, as the shadow shape dropped down from above the door and came nosing out towards the street. A shadow against darkness, Akiko could make out no details of its shape, just those purple neon eyes. It reached the edge of the circle of light cast by a street lamp, and stopped, fixing its gaze on her, but coming no closer.

Akiko found that she couldn’t look away, could hardly even blink. She felt something slimy on her face, spreading, sliding down, covering her breasts as her nipples became sore, pain that was mirrored in her groin as she felt something in her hair, and a strange, foul aftertaste filled her mouth. It took her a moment to place it, because it tasted far worse than she remembered, but the basic taste was the same. Semen. Her stomach heaved as she started to gag, and suddenly the thing across the road looked away, melting back into the shadows.

Akiko didn’t move. She could still taste it in her mouth, and feel it all over her body, a pollution that seemed to pass through her skin to taint her spirit. She heard voices, and shrank further back into the bushes, unsure what she looked like.

Then she realised she knew one of the voices.

“So I gave him the report.” Naoyuki!

His last comment was met by a peal of high-pitched laughter from his companion, and Akiko felt her heart sink. As they came into the light, the strength drained from her legs, and she barely kept herself upright and quiet.

Naoyuki, in his suit, had his arm around the waist of a girl in high-school uniform, his hand under her short skirt. Her hair was bleached blonde, her skin very tanned, and she didn’t seem to object at all. In fact, she seemed to be taking the initiative as she led him to the love hotel opposite.

Just before entering, Naoyuki paused and looked around. Akiko shrank back into the bushes, but he didn’t seem to see her, and the girl quickly pulled him through the entrance, and out of sight of the road. As they went in, Akiko saw two black shapes scuttle around the doorway, one looking round with purple neon eyes before darting inside. She became deeply conscious of how dirty she felt, and dashed out of the bush while the street was quiet, running for the hotel she had stayed in before.

As soon as she was through the entrance she paused, looking around. The shadows seemed a bit deeper than she expected, but they didn’t move, and they didn’t look back at her. Unwilling to spend any longer looking for trouble, she got a room key from the vending machine and hurried up.

Inside the room, she started a bath running right away, and was already pulling her clothes off when she looked up at the mirror.

There was nothing on her. Indeed, she realised that the slimy feeling, the soreness, and the foul taste had all gone, leaving her with nothing but a deep-seated feeling of contamination. Throwing her clothes out of the bathroom, she showered vigourously, the feeling of filth slowly sloughing off her, washed away with the hot water.

It was only after she had got into the bath that she felt truly clean, however, and she leaned back, closing her eyes as she tried to relax.

What are those things?

She had no answer to the question, and it was quickly joined by another.

Where am I going to get money? She couldn’t afford to stay in even such a cheap hotel for much longer.

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