“I am Tamao, kami of this place. I protect you and ensure your prosperity.”

Tamao’s eyes were enthralling, lightning dancing across his lips as he spoke. There seemed to be lights within the jewels of his skin, flickering as he moved, reflecting from the gold and silver running between. His gaze never left Akiko’s face, but his body shifted constantly.

“There is great pollution within my domain. It must be purified.”

The movements of Tamao’s body answered to a rhythm that Akiko could still feel pulsing in her veins and resonating in her bones. She was still, now, but even the ground under her was responding to it, the earth shifting, the grains sliding over each other beneath her in a dance she could feel even through her vestments.

“People have chosen to oppose me. They hate me and seek to drive me out.”

Akiko could see Shiraishi beyond Tamao. The priest was kneeling, her eyes fixed on Akiko, her body still. Heightened colour and the fluttering of her throat as she breathed rapidly gave her tension away, however.

“They will use whatever tools they have to drive you from the shrine, and then me from my domain.”

Tamao’s words were inside Akiko’s mind, the meaning perfectly clear, but the sound that she could hear speaking them was her own voice. Dizziness swept over her as she recognised the sound, and then, as she concentrated, the feeling of her mouth moving, air vibrating in her throat, her tongue and lips shaping words. All without her intervention. All beyond her control.

“If I am driven away, there will be nothing and no-one to fight the corruption. The spirits of kegare will have free rein.”

For a moment, Akiko felt trapped in her body, panic welling up within her as she tried to move her fingers, even the slightest amount, and found that she couldn’t, even as her voice continued to calmly relate Tamao’s words. And then her attention was caught by Tamao’s eyes again, as the kami leaned in close.

“Pollution will overwhelm the area, and people will fight one another over the ruins.”

Tamao’s eyes glowed golden, the light like the flame of a lamp, its gentle motion soothing Akiko’s fear. She could smell pine trees, and the wet earth after rain, and in the still air she yet felt a gentle breeze playing with her hair. The panic passed, and Akiko let her awareness float on the river of Tamao’s control, going where he led without resistance.

“You must purify my land. You must preserve the shrine.”

There was a deep throbbing from behind Akiko, a pulsing heat, from the direction of the iwakura. For a moment, she smelled sulphur and the brittle edge of burning rocks, but then the breeze blew it away, replacing it once more with the scent of trees.

“This is your duty. Spirit Child, Bright Child, serve your kami.”

And Tamao was gone. Across the shattered remains of the table, Akiko could see Shiraishi, trembling slightly as she watched Akiko. There was a weight still around Akiko’s neck, and she reached up, her fingers brushing a necklace.

04: Commitment, Episode 26 | 7 Comments »

“Is it… over?”

Shiraishi was whispering, barely moving her lips. Akiko nodded, her fingers still resting on the heavy necklace she was wearing. The priest bowed, and then let out a long, drawn-out “oh”, performing the formal ceremony for the return of the kami. Then she reached into the remains of the himorogi and picked up a brocade bag, walking round to Akiko and holding it out.

With a shock, Akiko realised exactly what she had around her neck.

Carefully, reverently, she lifted it over her head. The stones of the go-shintai were polished, not cut, but they still glowed in the light of the fires, crystals, gems, the size of hens’ eggs, red, green, purple, and large masses of gold and silver, apparently natural nuggets, polished but not shaped. The cord linking them appeared to be copper, glinting orange-red where it caught the light.

Hardly daring to breathe, Akiko dropped it back into the bag, which Shiraishi quickly drew shut.

As she shut it, the priest relaxed, almost falling to the ground, shaking and gulping in air. Akiko felt her calm draining away, as the implications of what had just happened started to come home to her.

“What happened?” Shiraishi’s question was a bit surprising.

“What did you see?” Akiko asked, suddenly unsure.

“You suddenly started dancing, very, very fast, leaping over the himorogi and spinning in the air. It was…” The priest paused, looking at the space over the shattered platform. “… amazing.” She barely breathed the last word, and then fell silent for a moment. “And then you knelt where you are now, bowed and clapped, and spoke the words of the kami. In fluent classical Japanese, the language of the noritos.”

“I what?” Akiko thought she had been speaking modern Japanese, although now she thought back she could only remember hearing her own voice and knowing what Tamao was saying; she could not actually remember the words she had used.

“You were speaking in classical Japanese,” Shiraishi said again. “I’m pretty sure I understood it; you were using the standard pronunciation we use for norito. And you used all the proper forms for a high superior addressing inferiors, I think. At any rate, you didn’t use the forms we use to address the kami in a norito.”

Akiko nodded. She realised that she was shaking a bit now. She had been possessed by a kami.

“When did I put the necklace on?” Akiko remembered Tamao leaping for her and then becoming a weight around her neck, but she was sure that wasn’t what Shiraishi had seen.

“I… It’s very strange. I don’t think you did. You were wearing it while you were dancing, but I never saw you take it from the bag.”

“And what happened to the platform?”

“You landed on it. Don’t you remember?” Akiko shook her head.

“I remember, but I don’t remember that.”

“So, Akiko, what did you see?”

“I saw Tamao. He appeared within the shimenawa around the himorogi, and the sakaki and platform shattered when he appeared. And then he spoke to me, but I could understand his meaning, rather than hearing his words. The music drove me to dance… Did you hear the music?” Shiraishi shook her head, a look of wonder on her face.

“I heard nothing but the sound of your feet on the ground.”

04: Commitment, Episode 26 | 2 Comments »

“So. What does it mean?” Akiko sat at the kitchen table, looking at Shiraishi as the priest stirred her coffee.

“It means you were possessed by the kami to pass a message on to us. Which, incidentally, is probably what miko originally did. I have to admit that I didn’t think it was still part of the job, however.”

“And the dance?”

“Dancing while possessed by a kami goes back over a thousand years; it’s mentioned in the Kojiki.”

“That’s the old collection of legends, right? Not the collection of norito?”

“Right. The collection of norito is the Engishiki.”

“Er, didn’t you mention something about dancing when you were talking about the designs for the new shrine?”

“Right. You remembered that? Kagura, sacred dance, is still an important part of Shinto, but it’s not much like what you did just now. Much slower and more restrained. No, your dance was definitely possessed dancing.”

“So it was all perfectly normal, then?”

Shiraishi burst out laughing, and Akiko found herself joining in. When the priest got herself under control, she shook her head.

“No, it wasn’t normal. But it does fit with the legends.”

“Maybe they aren’t just legends.”

“Let’s not go overboard. I doubt that a kami literally gave birth to the islands of Japan. Still, some bits may be a lot closer to simple accounts of the facts than I thought. We’ve had Hideo’s angry ghost, calmed by being enshrined, and now possession by a kami conveying warnings about pollution and telling us what to do. I doubt this is the only time it’s happened.”

“But you’ve not heard about it before?” Shiraishi shook her head. “So why now? And why me?”

“I have no idea,” the priest admitted. “Maybe you could ask Tamao?” Akiko was about to snap back an irritated response, when she realised that Shiraishi was entirely serious, and that it might actually be a possibility.

“Maybe I could. I’m just not sure…” Akiko tried to remember how she had felt when Tamao possessed her, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. “No, I’m not sure how to do that. In any case, what do we do about Tamao’s message?”

“Well, it doesn’t really tell us anything we didn’t know already.”

“That’s true,” Akiko had to agree. “Although it does confirm what Tamao is angry about.”

“Yes. And it seems that the pollution and the direct threat to the shrine are separate, at least as far as Tamao believes.”

“So, if we can purify the surrounding area and save the shrine, Tamao will be happy and stop causing floods and earthquakes.”

“I think that’s about it,” Shiraishi agreed.

“It would have been nice if Tamao had given us some hints as to how to do that.” Shiraishi nodded.

“Well, we can get on with rebuilding the shrine as quickly as possible. And think about purifying the area.”

“That would be a good idea. The kegare seems to cause accidents. Or maybe accidents cause kegare.” Akiko thought back over what she had seen, remembering the motorcycle crash and the flood. “Or maybe both. In any case, places with kegare seem to be bad, so cleansing them should be good by itself.”

“But what do we do? Go around performing harae everywhere?”

Akiko imagined the two of them, in full vestments, performing ceremonies around Kawasaki while people stared at them, and shook her head, blushing.

“I don’t think that’s the best way to do it. We need to think of something else. What is causing it?”

“What, indeed.” Shiraishi also seemed to have no answer to that question.

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It was late afternoon the following day before Akiko woke up. When she found the priest, who was at Takenaka’s shrine, to apologise, Shiraishi brushed it off, saying that being possessed seemed very tiring, and telling her to take things easy for the rest of the day. Akiko tried to spend some time in the shrine precincts, but the protesters kept wandering around, getting in her way, and she gave up, heading back to the house.

Back in her room, she was trying to think of ways to deal with the kegare when she noticed that her cell phone was blinking at her. There were three missed calls, all from her mother. Sighing, Akiko called back.

“Hello, this is Chiaki Tanahata.”

“Mum, your cell phone tells you it’s me.”

“Akiko? Oh, so you called back, then.”

“Yes, Mum. Was there something particular you wanted to talk about?”

“Noriko Yamada had her wedding a few days ago. Mrs Yamada was showing me the pictures yesterday, and it really looked wonderful. Noriko was beautiful in her wedding dress, and Mrs Yamada looked just right in her kimono.”

“Mm-hm.” It needed no insight at all to see where this conversation was going.

“So, I was wondering when you were going to be having your wedding.”

Time for the truth, Akiko decided.

“Mum, I’m not going out with Naoyuki any more.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m not going out with Naoyuki any more. It’s over.”

“So who are you going out with now? Is he in a good job?”

“I’m not going out with anyone.”

“What? At your age? Akiko, you’re already over twenty five; you can’t be messing about. You have to find a husband soon.” Akiko’s mother sounded almost panic-stricken.

“And I quit my job.” A brief surge of bitterness in her mouth made Akiko’s face twist, but she wasn’t about to claim to have been fired. Especially since she had been driven out of the job.

“What?” It was almost a screech, and her mother really did sound like she was panicking now. “Why? What are you doing now?”

“I’m living and working at a shrine. I’m a miko.” Akiko was surprised at how calm she managed to keep her voice.

“Sorry? Akiko, I thought you said you were a miko at a shrine.”

“I did, mother.”

“What on earth…? That’s not a career. And how are you going to meet anyone? Are you dating the son?”

“No, mother. I told you I’m single. Anyway, the priest is female and she doesn’t have any children.”

“Akiko, you really need to think about your future. You can’t be a miko for, well, very long at all. Aren’t they supposed to be, ah, young girls?”

“My age isn’t a problem.”

“Well, in any case, it isn’t a career. Akiko, what happened? Why have you thrown your future away?” Her mother sounded like she was on the verge of tears now. Akiko took a deep breath to steady herself before replying.

“Mum, this is the right thing for me to do now.”

“Why? How can it be? You’re too old for this kind of foolishness.” Akiko shook her head, even though her mother couldn’t see her. She couldn’t explain the real reason. There were strange sounds from the other end of the phone, and, with a shock, Akiko realised that her mother was crying.

“Mum, don’t cry. This is the right decision for me, really. At least for the moment.”

“Well, I suppose you’re old enough to wreck your own life now. I don’t suppose I can do anything about it.

“I hope you’re happy.”

And her mother hung up. Akiko put the phone down on the table.

That last sentence hadn’t really sounded like a wish for her happiness.

04: Commitment, Episode 26 | 3 Comments »

Even as it got late, Akiko could tell that there was no chance of her sleeping.  She felt that telling her mother the truth had been the right thing to do, but she found herself reminding herself of that repeatedly. And there was still the issue of the possession. What did Tamao want them to do about the kegare? She thought that Shiraishi was probably right about rebuilding the shrine quickly, but was there something else that they should be doing about the protesters?

Should she call her mother back?

Akiko realised that she had been pacing in her room for the last half hour, and stopped.

I have to do something definite, she decided. I will try to talk to Tamao again.

After a moment’s consideration, she headed to the bathroom, to purify herself physically before the attempt.

Half an hour later, wearing her miko’s vestments and carrying a tatami mat, she went out of the shrine house and into the grounds. Tamao had appeared close to where the shrine had been, and the iwakura was also connected to him, so that seemed a good place to try it. She put the mat down and knelt on top of it, breathing deeply to calm herself.

She bowed twice, and then started reciting the purification prayer, pleased to find that she could remember it. She still didn’t fully understand the grammar, which reminded her that Shiraishi had said she had spoken in classical Japanese. Maybe that was the language the kami spoke among themselves, as well.

She finished the prayer, bowing to the ground twice, clapping twice, and bowing once more, before sitting back on her heels and composing herself, trying to remember how she had felt when Tamao possessed her.

“Oh, excuse me.”

The voice startled Akiko, and she twisted to look round. There was a middle-aged woman behind her, someone who looked vaguely familiar. One of the protesters, Akiko was fairly sure.

“Can I help you?”

“I was just wondering what you were doing here in the middle of the night.”

I live here, Akiko thought. I should be asking that question. She got to her feet.

“Just a personal ceremony for the kami.”

“Should you really be doing secret ceremonies? It doesn’t promote trust, you know. People might come to all sorts of strange conclusions.”

“Now why would they do that?” Akiko was even warier now. Had the protesters realised that they had done a night ceremony? She thought they cleared the remains of the platform up properly, but maybe they’d left something. They hadn’t thought they had to hide all the evidence, after all.

“Well, you know, with Shinto’s connection to fascism…”

Akiko cut her off.

“Might I ask what you are doing here at this time of night? You do not work at this shrine, after all.”

“Oh, we’re just… keeping an eye on things.”

“I see. I can assure you that everything is all right.”

“We’re keeping an eye on you.” The tone sent a shiver through Akiko, and she involuntarily took a step back. But at that moment, someone called from near the entrance.

“Mrs Watanabe! Fancy meeting you here. And Ms Tanahata. This is a pleasant surprise.” Forcing a smile, Akiko bowed to Mr Akiyama, and then excused herself, returning to the house.

She had no chance of being able to talk to Tamao tonight.

04: Commitment, Episode 26 | 3 Comments »

“They’re spying on us at night, now.” Shiraishi looked shocked as Akiko broke the news to her over breakfast.

“At night? Inside the shrine grounds?”

“Yes. I saw two of them last night, including the headmaster.”

Shiraishi hugged herself briefly.

“I don’t like that idea. I don’t want them wandering around while we’re asleep, especially while we don’t know who burned the shrine down.”

“Can we afford to put gates on the shrine?”

“No.” Shiraishi made a face. “And anyway, we shouldn’t. It should be open for people like you… and Hideo…” She paused, blinking rapidly, and then went on. “People who really want to visit the shrine at night should be able to.”

“So, what do we do?”

“Keep watch, I suppose.”

“Just the two of us?”

“Mm.” Shiraishi picked up her rice, and ate a bit while she thought about it. “Well, I don’t think they’re likely to actually attack us. I mean, they don’t seem violent.” Akiko nodded, conceding the point. “So I think that one person watching would be enough. We can call the police if something starts to happen.” The priest drank a bit of her soup, her face still thoughtful.

“The problem, of course, is that we need to have someone around during the day, as well. And actually do shrine business. No, I don’t think the two of us can do it by ourselves.”

“So who do we ask?”

Shiraishi pulled another face, and lifted some flesh from her fish.

“There aren’t many people left. Hideo would have helped.” She stopped again, closing her eyes for a moment before continuing. “Hideo would have helped, and maybe Akira will.”

“Yes, I think so,” Akiko agreed, “but he does have the business to look after as well.”

“True. Well, we’ll just have to do the best we can. Oh, by the way, the first load of wood for the new shrine should be delivered today. We’ll probably have to deal with the protesters when it comes.”

Shiraishi’s prediction was accurate. Akiko didn’t see either Mr Akiyama or the woman who had been there the previous night, but there were enough people, including Naoyuki, to make it very difficult for the contractors to get the wood up the steps and to the spot where it was being laid out. In the end, they had to pay the contractors extra to work into the night, finally getting the last load up.

Akira arrived as the contractors were tidying up, and immediately came over to Akiko.

“Difficult day?”

She looked at him, and sighed.

“What do you think? Thanks for coming.”

“No problem.” They started walking up the stairs into the shrine. “It’s odd. I feel somehow close to my father when I’m here.” His voice caught a little as he spoke, and Akiko avoided looking at him.

“Well, he is enshrined here.”

“Ah.” Akira sounded surprised. “Yes, I suppose he is. Do you think that’s it?”

“It could be.”

Akira walked over to the small shrine where his father was revered, and squatted down in front of it.

“Maybe it is. I don’t feel near him when I go to the grave, not at all. And in the offices… Well, there are a lot of reminders of him, but I don’t feel like he’s there. Home’s the same. Here, though…” His voice trailed off, and he stood abruptly to bow and clap.

“Well,” he said, turning to Akiko, “what do I do now?”

“Just walk around and ask protesters to leave.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s all that’s necessary.”

“Well, then. You should get some rest; don’t forget I need to go by one.”

Akiko nodded, thanked him, and headed inside.

04: Commitment, Episode 26 | 3 Comments »

“Revd Shiraishi, could I ask a favour?”

“What? Yes, of course.” Shiraishi sounded wary.

“Er, I just wanted to ask you to watch the protesters for a while. Is that OK?”

“Oh, I see.” The priest seemed quite relieved. “Yes, that’s fine. What do you want to do?”

“Talk to Tamao again.”

“Can you?”

“I don’t know. But I think I have to try.”

The priest nodded slowly.

“It would certainly be very useful to know what he wants, and be able to talk to him more reliably. What will you do?”

“I was thinking of going into the shrine woodland, and seeing whether I could contact him there. I should be out of sight of the protesters.”

“Fine. I’ll make sure none of them go back there.”

“Thank you. I’d better go and get ready.”

The pounding of Akiko’s heart was already starting to fill her ears, and her mouth was dry as she walked to the bathroom. I have to talk to him, she told herself, I have to try. But things seemed much more difficult now. Nothing had happened since the Tamashi Shizume, but Akiko had been thinking about it. She had completely lost control of her body, words and actions. Tamao could have done anything with her. And Tamao did not exactly have a track record of being considerate of her feelings and goals.

She didn’t want to do it again, didn’t want to give him another chance. If he forced his way in, well, there was nothing she could do about it, but inviting him… No. And yet, she did need to talk to him. Whether she was protecting people from him, or working with him to protect the people from something else, or even just trying to guide him, like a strong flow of water being used to power a mill, she needed to know more about what he wanted. Visions of litter in the shrine weren’t enough any more.

She washed herself carefully, three times, soaking in the bath between each shower. When she got dressed, her underwear was new, laundered but unworn, and she had thoroughly cleaned her miko’s vestments earlier in the day. Purity, she thought. I mustn’t offend him.

The sky was heavy with clouds, the air dense with the promise of rain, and for a moment Akiko was ready to use that as an excuse to put off the experiment. Chiding herself for cowardice, she stepped into the sandals in the garden, and crossed the bridge to the exit to the shrine precincts.

Carefully rinsing her hands and mouth, she looked around. The wood for the new shrine was piled to one side, the site still a scar of bare earth. The stones of the iwakura were dark under the dark sky, and Akiko felt as though they were watching her. With a shiver, she looked away, to see Shiraishi shooing a protester out of the shrine grounds. She heard a protest, something about fascism that she couldn’t entirely catch, and then the precincts were quiet. Even the sound of cars was muffled, as if someone had wrapped a blanket around the shrine.

Akiko hurried into the woods, the crunch of earth under her sandals the loudest noise, the trees eerily still, as if they were waiting for something. Or as if the sky were holding its breath for an underwater dive. As she threaded her way between the trunks of the trees, stepping over undergrowth and ducking under branches, that image took hold in her mind. The air tasted damp, and her movements even seemed a little more difficult, as if the air were thicker than normal. Sounds were muffled, but she could feel vibrations in her gut. Making her way deeper into the woods, the smell of damp earth, damp wood became ever stronger, and she thought that the trees wavered as she glimpsed them from the corner of her eyes, as if she were seeing them through water.

She knew roughly where she was going, but the tree with the shimenawa seemed to be further into the woods than she remembered. When she came out into the clearing around it, the space was gloomy, the shards of sky she could see over her head black with cloud, the air as still and oppressive as it had been before. Slowly, she approached the tree, reaching out for its twisted bark.

The contact was the opposite of electric, as all tension drained from her, and the leaves of the tree rustled once, although she felt no breeze. Stepping forward, Akiko had embraced the tree before she realised what she was doing. Pressing her cheek against the rough surface, she breathed in its scent, wood and water, age and life, the bark warm against her skin, her vestments cutting her off from the wood, from the calm that it offered.

Akiko took a step back, and brushed at her vestments with her hands. They were still remarkably clean. She drew herself up straight, looking at the tree, and bowed. Something shifted as she came up, and for a moment she thought she could see other things out of the corner of her eye. She bowed again, her attention focused inwards, and had the same sense again. This time, though, she also caught the changes within her.

She clapped, and it was as if pieces of a jigsaw in her head were jolted a little more into place. She could almost see it.

One more clap, and the key was almost there, she was sure of it.

She bowed, looking at the ground, and finally she knew what she needed to do. It wasn’t that difficult, just a different way of seeing, of thinking. Of sensing.

She looked up at a world alive with spirits.

Figures like tiny dolls gathered on the branches of the trees around her, watching her without hostility. A pair of birds flew down, followed moments later by the spirit bird watching over them. She heard the rush of its wings, a clear, sharp sound in the air, and then she heard a grumble from overhead, tasted electricity, and looked up at the spirits writhing within the clouds, still asleep but only barely so.

Ahead of her, the tree was still a tree, but it seemed older now, and she sensed roots stretching down to the bottom of the earth, and branches that brushed the sky. It was larger, so large that the whorls in its bark were larger than her, and she had a vision of crawling into one, taking refuge within the tree, hiding from the threats.

Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. She couldn’t run away. Carefully, watching for spirits, she walked to the far edge of the woodland, to the edge of a ridge overlooking the city.

Nausea overpowered her, driving her to her knees. The stench was unbearable, the tendrils of decay woven tightly between the houses, coiled along power lines, while twisted forms clambered and slithered among them. She saw one reach down and catch a child’s foot, sending her tumbling to the road. The girl’s cries pierced the air as she sat up, too far away for Akiko to see any details.

Tearing her gaze away, Akiko pushed herself to her feet and staggered back into the woods.

What could they do?

04: Commitment, Episode 26 | 6 Comments »